We so rarely know the true nature of any one event when it happens. Two big things happened in the same day that reminded me of this. You can read the full article for Conscious right here, and below.
Here is what I have learned, over and over again, this past year. We generally don’t know what a thing means, right when it happens. Often we think we do: “The person I love broke up with me. That is bad.” “I lost my job, that is terrible.” “My apartment’s lease is not being renewed, I’ll never find somewhere as nice.” These kinds of thoughts. But we don’t know. Not really.
One of my favourite teachings along these lines comes from the Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh. He tells a story about a poor couple living in a little village whose one pride and joy is their son. One day, the son is involved in a horrible accident which leaves him badly injured, and his mother and father are devastated. “This is the worst thing that could possibly have happened!” they think. Then war is declared in the country, and the military sends forces to all the towns and villages round up men to fight. The couple’s precious son is rejected on the grounds that he’s not fully fit to fight, and is thus spared being sent to the battlefields. What they thought was “bad” turned out to be a blessing.
Lately in my own life, I’ve been loving cycling around on my bike. I bought the bike a few years ago and invested a bit of money at the time—I wanted a nice bike that didn’t make me huff and puff like crazy on hills! And my bike really came into her own this summer. The weather here in New York has been truly beautiful—warm, sticky and sweet—and I’ve been taking long bike rides around Prospect Park in the evenings, soaking in the feelings and the freedom.
This morning I went outside and discovered my bike had been stolen. I don’t know how, because the lock was gigantic, the rack was impenetrable and the wheels and seat were locked to the frame; the policeman who came to take down details said that some professional thieves can replicate the keys to special locks, and that’s probably what happened.
Naturally, I was vexed and sad. But I figured that while it was definitely not something I would have chosen to happen, I did have choices about how I registered it inside. I could deal with the outer things (reporting it stolen, thinking about how to replace it and so on), and I could just let it be, inside. I talked to my friend about it, and we looked at a nearby bike store’s website and I felt okay.
Shortly afterwards, he wrote me a beautiful letter about going through transitions in life (there have been many in mine lately), and told me that he had bought me a voucher at the bike shop and to go get myself a new two-wheeled chariot. I was speechless and smiley and touched to the center of my heart. Wow!
Can you believe how lovely people can be? I was, and am, floored by my friend’s kindness and generosity, and reminded in such an immediate way that, as I said, we so rarely know the true nature of any one event when it happens. Today I was reminded that as human beings, we can behave in stunningly decent ways; I felt valued, and eager to do the best I can for others. That wasn’t how I expected the day to go when I saw my bike had gone.
May the blessings in your life unfold in their own sweet time, and may we all be able to hold the uncertainty that is life with patience and grace and a sense of humour.
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